I realized several years ago that as much as I tried to run away from it, drama just seemed to follow me. It seemed like there was always something going on that I found myself involved in and it was stressful and quite frankly, not fun. I had a moment where I stomped my feet about it, and then decided I wanted no part of it anymore! But I was faced with a bit of a conundrum. How do I learn to avoid drama? I love my friends and I don’t want to avoid them all together, but I also can’t tell them that they are causing drama and I want them to stop because that would be rude…right? What felt worse was that I realized that it was even possible that I was the one starting it and if that’s the case, then how did I make myself stop?
After much careful consideration, I came up with a few helpful tips for myself, which might be helpful to you too!
1. Don’t get in the middle of someone else’s argument. Acting as a go-between for friends makes it difficult not to pick sides and many times one friend may be hurt or angered by you speaking to the other friend, especially if they think you have not taken their side. Though it may be hard to confront your friends, it is important that you let them know that when they talk smack about your mutual friend it makes you uncomfortable.
2. Be truthful: There is a difference between someone who is mean and someone who is honest. Being honest to begin with may be a lot easier because you won’t have to worry about covering your tracks or someone else spilling the beans. It’s a time saver and a drama saver.
3. Have a safe outlet: Sometimes we just need to talk stuff out with someone when everything in our lives gets to be a bit more then we can handle. Instead of letting all that stuff build up and then taking those feelings out on our friends, find a trusting adult you can talk to. If you don’t feel comfortable spilling your guts to your parents, try your school counselor. It feels surprisingly awesome to have all that stuff off of your chest.
4. Take care of yourself: It sounds crazy, but exercise actually makes your happier, as will eating foods that are good for you. Taking care of our bodies isn’t about losing weight or looking like anyone else; it can actually cause a chemical reaction in your body that will make you happy! When we are happy, we will worry less about all that silly drama, and we can spend our energy making our lives extra awesome and DRAMA FREE!
5. Know when to say you’re sorry. Look- it’s natural that at some point you might unknowingly hurt someone’s feelings. But, people really do appreciate it when you can say to them “You know what? I think I really messed up here. I was mad, I wasn’t thinking, and my mouth just got away from me. I am really sorry I hurt your feelings.” You can’t control if that person will forgive you, but you will know in your heart that you did what you could to squash any drama at the source.
Don’t get frustrated if you aren’t 100% perfect at avoiding drama right away. If you are practicing these things and it still seems like drama is following you around, I might take a look at my friends and think about the kind of people I want in my life. Ask yourself honestly- are these people making my life better? Are they helping me to be the best version of myself?
And just remember, if you ever need to talk to someone but want it to be someone outside your life, a counselor can be a great person to just listen and not judge you for whatever is happening.
You’ve got this girl!