“When you feel yourself becoming angry, resentful, or exhausted, pay attention to where you haven’t set a healthy boundary.” -Crystal Andral
The term “Boundaries” get thrown around a lot, but it has been my experience that many people remain really confused about what a boundary is, what their own boundaries are, and how to enforce them in a way that doesn’t feel overly aggressive, or alternatively- totally ineffective.
So how do you know if you could use some help with boundaries?
- Avoid conflict?
- Feel like other people take advantage of your kindness?
- Find it hard to say no?
- Do things out of obligation?
- Worry about the future and have a hard time with uncertainty?
If you answered yes to some or all of these, watch my video below!
Try to think of boundaries this way:
You are a house, and your boundaries are the fence that keeps the neighbors from peeking in. If you have no fence, the neighbors can trample on your grass and their dogs can poop in your yard. If you have a 6ft stone wall all the way around, you may have safe grass, but you are totally isolated from your neighbors. It’s the same with your boundaries. The goal is to find a happy medium between not enough and too much!
Know that this takes practice, and that it’s normal to go from no boundaries to very rigid boundaries before you can relax to center.
Boundary Setting Formula:
It Makes Me Feel__________________________
If You Continue To_________________________
You will know that it’s working for you because after some initial guilt on your part, you will find that your feelings of stress, exhaustion, and resentment will suddenly be gone.